I cannot believe that Halloween is just around the corner! It seems like just yesterday, everyone was freaking out about the return of pumpkin spiced lattes and now here we are, a couple weeks away from one of my favorite holidays.
I like Halloween because I love dressing up in costumes. A lot.
But while I may love costume parties, I have friends that love nothing more than going to haunted houses. It is a phenomenon I will probably never understand since I generally try not to wet my pants in public and that is typically what happens when I go to haunted houses. I mean, just a little, but they still scare the pee out of me!
But since I am but one person and I know there are many of you that do love a good scare and have better control over your bladder, I’ve rounded up some great haunted houses for you to visit in and around Boulder.
And by Boulder, I mean mostly Denver. I’m sorry there aren’t more scary places nearby.
Haunted Field of Screams
Oh great, three nightmares for the price of one. That’s a real bargain for folks who want to spend their night alternating between a haunted cornfield, a terror maze, and a zombie-infested farm in Thornton. You can get tickets for all three for as low as $45, but their kind of terror offers very flexible options and you can mix and match tickets for one, two, or all in varying levels of admission (general or VIP). What surprising customer service from a company designed to prey on your worst fears.
The 13th Floor
Not that I would ever actively seek out the most terrifying attractions possible, but this place in Denver apparently has quite the reputation for being one of the best haunted houses in the country and the scariest in Colorado. This year, they have three nightmares for you to stumble through: Slasher Remix, Undead: Abominations, and Cursed: The Ritual. Prices range from $35 to $55 depending on whether you want to wait in line or not and thrifty fright seekers can buy the VIP passes at Costco for a discount.
City of the Dead
Cripes, why must all of these places have three different options to scare the bodily fluids right out of you? This haunted house, located in Henderson also has three different abominations for you to “enjoy”: you’ve got the original City of the Dead classic, Curse of Darkness, and, oh for the love of Pete, Carnival of Carnage. So, that’s probably where all the freaky clowns will be this season. This is actually pretty reasonably priced at $23 to $50 for general admission to instant access. Why would you want instant access to a heart attack? Hey, I’m just here to give you the info, I don’t pretend to understand.
Extinction
OK, finally, this is a haunted house I can get behind. Well, it’s actually a live action haunted house, where you are actually shooting at… well, whatever monsters they’ve conjured up. You and your team are armed with BB guns and you have to shoot your way to safety. If I’m armed, I think I feel a lot better about walking through a haunted house. Also, $35 for VIP is a pretty sweet deal. Plus, I guess if this just isn’t scary enough for you, The Asylum is about a mile down the road.
The Asylum
Ah, yes, I saved my own personal nightmare for last. The triple terror tour starts out in a freaking escape room with a corpse. So, hooray for a puzzle, but boo for a dead body. Then Primitive Fear: Anarchy in which the two main characters wear freaking smiley masks. Finally, Ridgegate: The Deranged. You can probably guess how that one goes. It’s from the same demented minds that created the 13th Floor, which is also just several miles down the road (the price is also the same).
Well, now that this list is complete, I’m going to go watch some My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and silently rock back and forth while purging this all from my memory.
The things I do to keep you informed. You’re welcome, Boulder.
